


ophiuchus

by winterants



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mentioned Hanahaki Disease, One-Sided Love, Pharmacist! Konoha who is involved with lab, Pining, Pinning Konoha Akinori, Post-Time Skip, Star Tears AU, Unrequited Love, some serious issues are discussed, 星涙病
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterants/pseuds/winterants
Summary: 'Ophiuchus people are spirited, magnetic, impulsive, clever, flamboyant, and at times jealous, power-hungry, and temperamental. At their hearts, they were healers who hoped to one day rid the zodiacs of every ill—disease, violence, etc.—and bring everyone closer together.In a world where the most mysterious diseases can be healed with much effort and dedication poured into it, Konoha learns that sometimes sacrifices are also needed too.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Konoha Akinori
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	ophiuchus

**Author's Note:**

> "why does this prompt and the intro seem familiar?" you might ask.  
> simple. i took down pretender for various reasons. the main reason is that my soul itched me saying that it's not up to my standard. the second reason is that people keep telling me to stop hurting akaashi so yes take it!!! take it!!!! (also i feel bad bcs i keep hurting him too so yes you won people) so yeah, those who have read pretender would know how the plot flows but i hope this time it hurts more???? idk 
> 
> this fic is something i myself relate to,,,, im not a medic/doctor major but i am that type of person who would prioritise her studies before her social life.. hence my very socially awkward incomes. (why am i telling this here anyway) 
> 
> wow this is a long author's note sorry 
> 
> i also tried a few new things but wtv i really like how this turned out. enjoy (?)  
> p/s : Bunshun = kinda like the Dispatch of Japan, but 3x as bad. (im not kidding)

“ _Years have our society been haunted by mysterious diseases that would strike us when we didn’t expect them most. And as humans, we have managed to overcome every single hurdle thrown towards us. Although we lost so many of us before we got our success, it is something expected as the path to victory is no flower path at all.”_

_“In the past few years, our scientists have been working hard on developing a medical cure for one mysterious disease that has haunted us in the last few centuries. The flora emesis disease- also more frequently known as Hanahaki, had contributed to a huge percentage of death among young adults. With our society being composed of more of the elderly than the youth, this problem has to be tackled as soon as possible.”_

_“Of course, telling the youth to not fall in love is impossible. However, as of recent data collected by doctors, it seems like most of the victims of this disease had chosen to not partake in the surgery that is needed for the removal of the flowers from their lungs. As quoted by one of the victims of this mysterious disease- ‘They rather die than lose the feelings of the one-sided love they suffered.’ “_

_“For the first time in mankind's history, scientists, psychologists, and doctors have joined forces to create the ultimate medicine that would kill the flowers growing inside the lungs while retaining the memories of those that they yearn to be with. It was no easy process, as the creation of the antidote was not like any other vaccines for plagues or viruses. Studies of chemical and hormone reactions, the possible side-effects towards the consumer- many had given up halfway, saying that it’s impossible.”_

_“Until one day, we finally succeeded.”_

_“Humanity was saved. No longer did the world lose their youth at an alarming rate, and some cases even managed to have a proper closure which would have not been possible had they chosen to die. The world was at peace for once."_

_"That is until a new, mysterious disease had appeared. The star tears illness.”_

Konoha took a deep breath as he pressed the pause button on his recorder. Even at the brief mention of the cursed disease he still somehow managed to make his throat turn dry all of a sudden. And he hated that feeling very much. He took the glass of water nearby him, taking a long, needed sip before he pressed the play button. 

_“The new disease had made its first appearance in the United States. Its impact is more contagious and wide-spread compared to the Hanahaki- as its triggering point is not an unrequited love- but the feeling of losing love, of hopelessness and giving up. Cases spiked within adults, and doctors at this point have no idea what to do with this disease.”_

_“It starts when the patient suddenly has stars replacing their tears when they cry. Not much is known about it yet as the situation varies per patient, especially the color of the stars that accompany their victims. However, memory loss and blindness are confirmed side effects of this newly discovered disease. Some severe cases might also lead to death, where the stars return to the celestial skies along with the victim’s body. Although not much could be confirmed of the last case as these accounts are only confirmed by claims made by witnesses.”_

His body shivered at the mention of death. He is a pharmacist. Those people who work behind the scenes to make the perfect perscription for every single human there is on Earth. Not a doctor who stood on the frontline between life and death. A lot of people would think that he would be immune to the mention of the cursed word, but they were wrong. He is just another mortal human being. Konoha took another gulp of water, calming down before he continued his recording. His voice faltered for a slight second, he realized before he fixed it immediately.

_“And in this recording, I, Konoha Akinori will talk about my results and hypothesis as I carried out an observation on a patient of the star-teared disease.”_

\-------------------------------------------------------

When I first saw the name of the next patient on the list, I had hoped that it was a doppelganger or someone who coincidentally had the same name as you. But of course, fate proved that my life is just another set of games for them because it was actually you who entered the room.

And seems like you were as surprised as I was. 

“No way. This can’t be real.” You took off your glasses for a minute, trying to grasp the situation properly. I was still speechless myself, one for the fact that after years of not seeing each other, the only time we had another encounter is where I have to be your medical consultant. Another fact is that you still looked as beautiful and ethereal as you were back in high school.

“Long time no see, Akaashi. This isn’t the scenario that I expected us to have our reunion, but well, fate knows what’s better for us.” 

“It’s been a while, Konoha-san. How are you?” We exchanged our greetings in a very formal manner, something that was very likewise of you. It felt awkward if I have to be frank. Because while we were all smiles trying to catch up to each other’s current whereabouts, you did pay the company that I worked for a large sum of money for one sole purpose. 

“I really don’t want to break the joyful atmosphere here, but you did come here for a certain medicine, right?” 

“Ah, yes. I almost forgot about that. I heard that the process of making the medicine required us to tell our consultants everything about the person that we’re yearning for. Maybe I should ask for a change of consultant…..” 

“Please don’t tell me it’s Bokuto, of all the people in this world.” Just mentioning his name irks me for no reason. Don’t be mistaken here- yes, he is our former ace, but there are times when I wonder what does Akaashi sees in that person that made him fall for Bokuto so badly? Akaashi could definitely do better than that. 

Just thinking about it makes me want to lash out. But, I have to keep it professional here. You didn’t reply to my question, but from the way you had fidgeted your fingers unconsciously, it had given out the answer that I didn’t want to hear it. So it _is_ still him. Even after graduating from Fukurodani, your eyes were still set on him. 

I _still_ don’t get what it is you see in Bokuto that made you fall from him this deep.

“Huh, it seems like this would be the fastest medicine I would make in my months of being a Hanahaki consultant! I should ask for a raise!” My voice cracked slightly at the end, my emotions getting the upper hand of me at the moment. Covering it with a weak excuse for a cough, I passed the necessary documents for you to fill. Despite forcing myself to refrain from doing it, my curiosity won over as I asked you more personal questions. 

“Since when did you have it? What kind of flowers are they?” You didn’t seem to be fazed by my question. You probably thought it was a common question that I asked my patients.

Oh, how you should know that you’re the first person I ever asked about it. 

“Earlier this year. It was a white lily.” It was already summer, which means Akaashi had survived much longer than the average longevity of the Hanahaki disease. And white lilies meant pure love, something I know from a colleague who studied the language of flowers recently. It was something that fit Akaashi too well. He is one of those people who has such a pure soul, anyone would agree to that after spending some time with him. It was one of his traits that I adored about him a lot. 

“I’m surprised it only appeared as of now. Do you have any idea what could be the trigger for it?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because Bokuto-san kept on mentioning about his teammates. I feel like he’s slowly falling for one of them-” You suddenly coughed out of the blue, the white lily petals flying out of your mouth. Both of us stare at the said petals- the red blood tainting the purity of it. I looked at you with sincere pity, asking you why have you not confessed after all these years. 

“Bokuto-san wants to go pro. What do you think the public would react if Bunshun discovers that he has a thing for guys from high school? His career would be destroyed on the spot, Konoha-san. **_The internet will kill him_**.”

There you go, protecting him from the harms of the world again. I thought that it was something you could no longer do, now that both of your worlds were separated like the east and west. But somehow, you still found a way to protect Bokuto like the guardian angel you are for him. I asked no further questions as I wrote down your prescriptions and told you that your medicine will arrive in a few days' time. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 _“We will call this patient as Patient A. Patient A had a history of having Hanahaki and had been consulted by me for prescriptions of his Hanahaki medicine. It was another success as the flowers in his lungs died a few weeks after.”_ Konoha still remembered the picture of the wilted white lily that Akaashi had sent one day. It made him happy, Akaashi would no longer be at risk of dying anymore. But at the same time, he felt unsatisfied knowing that the memories of a certain white-haired person still remained intact within Akaashi’s memories. 

_“As abid to our company policy, Patient A’s database remains kept within our company database- in case if the disease resurfaces itself within the patient. That worst-case scenario has yet to happen, but as our company motto goes by; it’s better to be safe than sorry.”_

_“However, a few months later, Patient A came in contact with me. I did have a bit of worry if the flowers had developed immunity for our medicine, or if the medicine that we had prepared for him had actually been weak. But, it was a more dreadful twist than that. Patient A had come in contact with the star tears disease.”_ Konoha stopped the recording once more, standing up to look out of the window nearby. The sky that night was as clear as day, one can see the stars brightly- or as brightly as they could for someone who is living in a city with bright, neon lights like Tokyo. It reminded him of the night when Akaashi had come to his house abruptly, breathless as he begged for help.

And he despised the memory a bit too much. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

That day, it rained as if the weather wanted to submerge Tokyo within the sea. But somehow, by night, the thunderstorm had passed and gave way to a path filled with bright and beautiful stars. Alas, being a pharmacist currently in a field where the star tears disease is haunting every single worker alive, I loathed the stars more than ever. 

However, that changed in the same night after you came into my life once again. 

We did exchange numbers after our first encounter at my office. It became more amusing once we realized that we lived quite nearby from each other. Our houses were only a train station away from each other. We promised that we would go out and have lunch when time allows us. Even with only that empty-like promise, it made me feel as if I was in cloud nine. 

When the bell rang at 12 am in the middle of the night and you weren’t expecting any guests at all, it was common to think that it might be an attempted robbery, or probably some drunk person ending up at the wrong home. So to see you, of all people, was definitely not on the list. 

“Konoha-san. Please, help me.” Your voice trembled with fear. And if your voice didn’t seem like you were scared, your body definitely gave it away. I pulled you close to my embrace, trying to calm you down as we made way to the small living room of my house. I was about to ask what happened before the said reason magically appeared in front of us. 

A periwinkle star. 

“Akaashi…” My mouth felt heavy, the only thing I could do was calling your name repeatedly in an endless loop. The star glowed in the dark, small room, giving out a luminescent purple glow around where it had dropped. Even you were speechless, as you stared at that one star in between us. “It’s stupid, isn’t it? Months ago I had to go to you to ask for a prescription to stop flowers from coming out of my mouth, but here I am, crying out stars instead of saltwater now. I feel like an idiot now.” Those words were meant for you to hurt only yourself, but little did you know that my heart was shredded into pieces upon hearing it too. 

Why, Akaashi? Why are you willing to go to this extent? Just for the sake of the memories of one person? Is it really worth it? 

“Is it because of the article Bunshun published a few hours ago?” He could only nod his head. My intuition hit bulls-eye once more.

Earlier today, Bunshun had tweeted that they would be exposing a well-known volleyball player’s relationship tonight. Most of us thought it would be maybe Ushijima or even Sakusa, of all people. Although now that I think of it, Bokuto did fit with Bunshun’s hints perfectly: a former top-five ace during their high school years, a member of a Division 1 League team, and also someone famous among women. 

The last hint didn’t make sense for a lot of us, volleyball players always have a large female fanbase, no matter who you are. (although Ushijima’s fanbase is something all of us are scared of) But the news that dropped tonight somehow explained the last hint clearly. 

Bunshun caught Bokuto on a date with a man. It was a blurry picture, but Bokuto’s obnoxious, very unneeded white hair still somehow managed to stand out in the said picture. The partner, who Bokuto was holding hands with, obviously had the physical figure of a man. It was an article that assured that the Black Jackals’ image was slightly (or was it severely?) destroyed. The news went viral, entering Twitter Trends up until now. I only scrolled through the trend, stopping immediately upon reading the disgusting comments that the netizens were throwing at Bokuto.

This was what Akaashi had tried to protect Bokuto from. Yet, likewise from the airhead- he still manages to screw up in one way or another. It’s not fair. It was a mistake that Bokuto himself had made. Why did other people have to suffer along? 

Why did Akaashi had to be hurt in the process, too? 

“Please, Konoha-san. Save me. Save me before it’s too late.” The final piece of my heart broke into thousands of pieces when you had begged for my mercy.

Akaashi, if only I was powerful enough, you would be the first person I saved from this stupid disease. I don’t know what I can do, it’s not like we have sufficient test subjects to study how the star tears disease evolves inside the human body. I could take Akaashi as a test subject, but that would mean taking him away from his life and sending him to the laboratory. Just like what we did to find the cure for Hanahaki.

And as much as I wish I could steal Akaashi just for myself, that would break my own ethics as a savior of humanity. So I only did what I could do at that moment. I embraced him once again, calming him down while whispering meaningless promises that I would be able to save him. One part of me wishes that this was just a dream, but somehow, and I mean **_somehow_** , a sadistic part of me that was always hidden from everyone, was glad that things **_actually_** turned to this.

\-------------------------------------------------------

 _“After some discussion with the patient, I decided to put Patient A under my own personal observation after the discovery. It was something I never saw myself doing, but for the sake of the development of a potential vaccine, it was a necessary act indeed.”_ Konoha could still recall the day when Akaashi would come to his house on his own accord so he could take a look at his body’s symptoms. He swore he didn’t want it. But Akaashi insisted. Saying that if he didn’t offer himself to become a test subject, more people would suffer from this after thinking they’re safe from Hanahaki. Konoha could only accept Akaashi’s wishes. If that was what he wanted, then he would only serve just as the younger one wished for. He didn't want to send the latter to lab, just for the sake so that nobody would find out about the secret that both of them are hiding. 

_“A few minor observations I’ve seen during the first few weeks was that compared to Hanahaki, this disease can actually be controlled by the patient. Although this hypothesis may be a false statement as we only have one patient throughout my observation, if this theory can be proven true, I suggest creating a medicine that could stall the hormones from preventing the tear glands from producing tears properly until we could make the antidote.”_ The young editor isn’t someone who cries easily, thus slowing the pace of the disease. The only time he had ever shed his tears was at the brief mention of a certain white-haired volleyball player. 

Speaking of the said volleyball player, Konoha’s grip on the recorder tightened at the memory of his former captain. The former ace’s scandal appeared during the end of fall. It was chaotic, even the members from Fukurodani weren’t able to contact Bokuto during the first few weeks since the scandal exploded. This situation had caused someone to become very worried about the said ace, shedding tears even more than he should be upon reading more nasty rumors and comments that were thrown by netizens on every single social media that existed.

“I wonder if Bokuto-san is okay. He must be so scared right now….” The way Akaashi had talked to him about Bokuto was as if Akaashi himself wasn’t suffering from a mysterious disease that had a risk of destroying his life. It made Konoha wonder, how much did the former setter love his senior for him to accidentally risk his life twice for it? He recalled a few other Hanahaki patients whom he had treated prior to Akaashi. A few of them were people who had poured all their love for people who were too far out of their reach. Most of the time it was the names of idols, but as of lately, familiar names kept on appearing endlessly too. Even Bokuto’s name is mentioned more frequently now. Most of these kids were treated well, and they updated the pharmacists on how they have learned to tone down their admiration and fondness for these idol-level-like people. 

It was unavoidable, Konoha guessed. In life, you’ll always have someone who you look up to a lot. Sometimes, the innocent feeling of admiration can turn into a deadly weapon without the owner’s realization. That’s why the pharmacists and researchers are in this field, determined to make the antidote. It would be a waste for these young children to die just from a sense of admiration that had gone overboard.

But Akaashi’s adoration is on a whole new level. 

“He’ll be okay. I mean, if his teammates and management knew about it, they should have a plan prepared in case they were caught.” And knowing how loud Bokuto is, Konoha wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in the team knew. 

Apparently, his words were definitely not the right choice of words at the said moment, as more star tears fell from Akaashi’s eyes. The younger one held the fallen stars in his embrace, holding it close to his chest. The soft periwinkle-colored stars had gone slightly brighter than when it first fell in front of them. Konoha abruptly apologized for the lack of empathy in his previous comment, to which Akaashi shrugged it off. He later kept the fallen stars in a jar that both of them had bought together a few weeks ago, the recent stars joining it’s other members, making the glow become brighter.

“Is it really worth it, Akaashi? You’ve been crying about Bokuto non-stop. I’m afraid that the disease might develop even faster if you don’t calm down and breathe.” Akaashi ignored Konoha’s warning as he turned away, leaving the living room and made his way to the guest room. Leaving the latter alone in the dark, he slammed the door shut, like how a 10-year old who had just gotten scolded by their mother would do. 

_「I’m doing this for your own sake, Akaashi. 」_

_「Please, stop this before you go far beyond the point of turning back.」_

Continuously, Konoha knocked on the door, begging Akaashi to open the door while cursing the person who was the main cause of all the mess that’s currently happening. 

Konoha’s mind snapped out of his stance, realizing he had spaced out far too long than he had originally intended. He looked at his own hand, it was almost crushing the recorder he was using. The pharmacist took a few deep breaths before he resumed his recording once more. 

_“Patient A’s stars were the color of periwinkle. Another theory I have of this disease is that the color of the tears represents something about the patient. Periwinkle resembles serenity, calmness, winter, and ice. It can also symbolize blossoming friendships, sentimental memories, and everlasting love. It was definitely a trait that fitted perfectly with Patient A. The stars grew brighter every time, while the patient’s memories and the sight of color slowly disappearing. I could infer that the spectrum that is reflected in the retina might have been reflected towards the stars instead. Although I will need to refer to an eye specialist about this theory of mine. And I still couldn’t find a logical explanation for the alternation in memories. But these small milestones in our research will contribute to the development of a cure.”_

\-------------------------------------------------------

It happened during the days when the winter wind was slowly disappearing. The atmosphere of spring slowly coming to life breathing into the streets of Tokyo. You had messaged me that you would come to my house after you finished your work for the day. I had a meeting to discuss recent developments of the star tears cure, so I told you I would be back late. But you had the keys to my house, so it wasn’t that much of a problem. 

Or so I thought. 

I arrived at my station at around 9 pm. It was usually empty at this time around, but somehow I saw you standing alone at the exit, fidgeting your hands once again. Was something wrong? Why didn’t you go to my home? You do have the keys to my home by now. “Akaashi?” I called out towards you, softly. You turned towards me, eyes threatening to spill more tears before I ran to embrace you first. “Shh, don’t cry. The stars will fall.” 

“Konoha-san… I… I don’t remember where your house is…… It’s starting… I’m losing my memories..” I told you to calm down as we walked home. Trying to soothe you down, I rubbed your back throughout our journey home as an attempt to distract you from the heavy realization that was upon us. Upon reaching home, I made you your favorite drink and reheated the onigiris I bought earlier before leaving for home. You looked so comfortable in my home, it made me feel as if we were dating each other. 

Oh, if only that was true. 

You told me how you have forgotten about a recent deadline for one of the works you were editing and how you forgot where you placed your favorite pen. (it was in your bag. In the hidden pocket because you didn’t want to lose it.) And the fact that you had forgotten where my house was was the final blow for you to realize that it has started. The star tears had finally evolved to its next phase. You apologized for that, to which I shrugged it off. It was something unavoidable. Although I wished you had forgotten about other stuff first. 

I helped you to remember the necessary things. My address was now on the GPS on your phone. Your schedules sync with mine, where we put different colors to know whose schedule is whose. These actions screamed domestic like we were a couple who just had gotten together. And the thought of that alone was sufficient enough that it made my heart fluttered more than I expected. 

I always wished that back in Fukurodani, it was me you had your eyes on. But I guess this disease had a blessing in disguise- I got the chance to shower you with the love and adoration that **_you_ ** deserved. Everything went well for once, your stays in my house became more often that you began to leave your stuff here. We would always eat lunch outside during the weekends, and most importantly, you weren’t crying anymore. 

It felt like I had made the cure. A cure that wasn’t scientific enough to be made in the laboratory, but in a way, its effect was even more powerful than its scientific counterpart. 

I gave you my heart and soul, with hopes that you would accept it. 

But reality truly is a cruel thing. 

Because that person just **_had_ ** to return at that very point where you were almost mine. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 _“Patient A’s battle with the star tears disease was a long battle. This is why I think that the severity of the star tears depends on how often the said patient would cry out. I discovered that even if one isn’t someone who cries easily, but once they are infected with the disease, the disease will affect the hormones inside you, causing you to cry even for the most stupid reasons there is.”_ Konoha knows Akaashi isn’t the type of person to show his vulnerability to others easily. So when he started bawling out of the blue for the most trivial reasons, that was when he had decided to run a few hormone tests on Akaashi. The tests showed that Akaashi’s stress hormones had spiked in the past few weeks, something that didn’t surprise Konoha one bit.

Because he knew that there was another reason for the spike. 

After months of silence, MSBY Black Jackals finally announced that they were going to organize a press conference concerning Bokuto’s scandal. It was an event that everyone was waiting for- as the management had pulled Bokuto out of the starting line for the last few matches of the season. There were even rumors that the team would go on a break for the next season in order to rebuild the image that they had before all this happened. 

Konoha had told Akaashi that it would be better if he didn’t watch it. Deep inside, he had wished that Akaashi actually had forgotten about the stupid press conference instead. But somehow, somehow, out of all the things that Akaashi forgets as of now, he didn’t forget about the conference. And so they watched the press conference live- just like how their other friends are watching. It started off with a speech from the management of the Black Jackals, apologizing for the trouble that they had caused towards their sponsors and other affected parties. They mentioned that they would be more aware of their players' whereabouts from now on and severe punishment would be given to their players if another incident like this ever happens again.

When it was Bokuto’s turn to make his statement, Konoha could hear Akaashi’s breath slightly changed upon seeing how tired Bokuto’s face was. It seemed like he went through a rough time too on his side. 

“Good evening. My name is Bokuto Koutaro. I am standing here today to address the scandal concerning me a few months ago.” The bright cheerful voice that would usually come out from that mouth was gone, replacing it was a stern, stressed-out tone. “First of all, I would like to deeply apologize for causing so much trouble for a lot of people these past few months. I have completely reflected on my past actions, and I swear that I would not cause any more scandals throughout my career. I would also like to thank the fans who waited for us. I am so sorry for hurting all of you.” 

“However, as we had promised in our negotiation- the question of my sexuality is something that the press would have no right to question for. Who I like, who I would spend my life with after I retire from volleyball, those types of questions are now banned from being asked to **any** MSBY Black Jackal members. Our sexual orientation and personal preferences do not affect our performance on the court, rest assured. And with that, I thank you.” 

The last part of Bokuto’s speech caused an uproar on SNS. Speculations that there were more MSBY players who might be like Bokuto caused the Black Jackals’ official website to crash that night. But back in Konoha’s home, it was a sheer, eerie silence as he had let Akaashi cry out his soul for that night. 

“Told ya, you should have just confessed, Akaashi.” _Lies._ Konoha could hear his mind telling him that. 

“How should I know that things would turn out like this?!” Konoha was not used to seeing Akaashi screaming out his frustration. He had always been someone who kept his composure well, even if he was in a major breakdown, he still tried his best to act as civil as possible. 

This new attitude had truly surprised Konoha. 

“If I knew that his team would protect him, if I knew that he would actually go heads on against the world for the sake of his love, I would have told him that I love him since the day you guys left Fukurodani! But because I wanted him to fly even higher in the future, I told myself that it would be best if I let him go. I love him so much, Konoha-san, that even if people tried to tell me to stop at this rate, it would be impossible.”

“Then are you satisfied now? Here you are, slowly losing memories of your life and losing your eyesight!! Is it worth it, Akaashi?! Tell me!!” Konoha gripped Akaashi’s shoulder, a little bit too strong than he had thought he would. “Akaashi, if you don’t stop now, I’m afraid that you won’t be able to live to see tomorrow. Please, I’m begging you…..” He let go of his grip on Akaashi, pulling the latter into his embrace instead. 

“You have no idea how much I enjoyed the past few months with you being present in my life. I know, that’s a selfish wish. I am trying to help you from this disease-” He picked up one of the stars that fell to the floor, the glow it had was very bright, as bright as the stars in the night sky. This wasn’t a good sign. “- But I guess I didn’t expect to fall for you even worse than it was during our school days.” He lifted Akaashi’s face so that their eyes would lock into each other’s gaze. “Akaashi, please. I’m begging you. Save yourself. I’m trying my best to rescue you, but if you’re still going to chase after Bokuto- then all my efforts would be fruitless.” 

“Take **_my_ ** love instead, Akaashi. I can give you what Bokuto couldn’t. I’m already here. What else do you want?” He was getting impatient, as Akaashi pushed himself away from him, the stars falling even more on the floor. “I- I- I’m sorry, Konoha-san. But I can’t. If that’s the cure to the disease, then screw it, I would rather give up my life then give up my love for Bokuto-san.” 

“Do you _**even**_ have any memories with Bokuto left that are still intact? You couldn’t even remember what’s your jersey number at this point, Akaashi! What’s the point of loving him if all the moments that made your heart fluttered are slowly being taken away from you?” He’s becoming more frustrated at Akaashi’s stubbornness. “Please, we can make new memories together. Even if we have to try a few times thanks to the disease messing you up. Akaashi, please. Give me a chance.” Akaashi shook his head, crying even more until he suddenly passed out. Panic ran through Konoha as he tried to wake him up. The editor was still breathing, but it seemed like the amount of stress and information that he had to process in this short period of time had overwhelmed him. 

The moment when Akaashi regained consciousness, all he could see around him was a monochromatic world.

The recording had reached its limit. Konoha had unconsciously spaced out once more, his mind drifting to the day the press conference was held. He shook his head, a bit surprised at how careless he was. He edited the first recording he had into the audio editor before he took another break. His mind had been a fog ever since he started recording his findings, but he willed himself to push through until the end. 

This is for the future of everyone's well being. He needs to do this. 

Konoha slapped his cheek, regaining focus before he resumed the last part of his recording. 

_“Patient A’s health had deteriorated drastically as the disease entered its last phase. I had predicted that he only had a few weeks left to live.”_

\-------------------------------------------------------

You were like an empty void. No longer could you remember anything aside from names, you could no longer see how the sky is blue, how the grass is green, and how the stars that fell from your eyes were glowing into a vibrant purple by now. It was like you were a ghost, waiting for the day that the stars reclaim you and escort you back to the skies. But even in that somber situation, somehow, somehow you still put that idiot as your priority instead of yourself. 

“You want to meet him?? In your current condition?? Akaashi, I’m sorry but I really think you shouldn’t.”

“And then what, when Fukurodani suddenly has a reunion, who’s going to explain what happened to me. You can’t just say _‘Oh, Akaashi died because of the star disease because he couldn’t get over his high school crush.’_ I doubt you have the guts to say that.” The tone that you had was starting to piss me off, but I had to convince myself it was the common human fear of knowing your death is near doing its job. 

“What’s the point of hiding it from the whole team if you’re going to confess to him at your deathbed then?!?” It was at your request that we didn’t tell anyone else from our old circles. Thank goodness most of all were completely distracted by each of our commitments, so we were able to hide it until today. 

“At least, if I die, I die knowing that he knows my true feelings.” Your eyes were determined. It has been long since I saw that determination burn from your eyes. “I don’t want Bokuto-san to save me just out of guilt. That’s why I wanted to keep it a secret, but now that I know that I’m dying, I might as well go for it. Right? So please, Konoha-san. If you really do care for me.” 

The last sentence hit a bullseye in my heart. And I could no longer try to stop you. Your love for him was infinity. It hurts, it hurts so much knowing that you wouldn’t love me as much as you loved that guy.

Why can’t I be that guy instead?

I did contact Bokuto, after asking others for his new phone number. (Apparently, he had to change his phone number because people got a hold of his LINE messages. I thought we were living in a country that respects privacy?) With this bitter feeling lingering inside me, I asked if I could have a quick lunch session with him. As expected from Bokuto, his reply was energetic. 

We met at a small restaurant near Bokuto’s dormitory since he had to be present for practice in the next hour. While Bokuto was excited to meet me again after a few years, I tried to push down the uneasiness that was swirling inside me. I was about to meet the idiot who stole the love of my life’s heart and caused him all the pain he’s going through since day 1. Is it possible for me to be civil in front of Bokuto? We ordered our lunch first- I ordered a sandwich as my appetite had died down since this morning.

Without further due, I dropped the bomb. 

“It’s about… Akaashi.” The mention of your name had caught Bokuto’s full attention. That was expected, considering how close the two of you guys **_used_ ** to be. “What about him? Is he okay? Is he sick? Where is he?” Thank goodness by then, our meals had arrived. I slowly picked up my sandwich, dragging a bit of time because I was still against the idea of him seeing you in your current condition. My face was neutral, as I kept myself from displaying the sheer amount of anger that I have for you at the very moment. 

“Konoha, what happened-“

“Akaashi has star tears disease. It’s been quite some time, actually. More than a year, maybe? We didn’t tell you because you were going through a rough time too and we didn’t want you to be in more pain than you were in. Sorry.” 

“Then why are you telling me now of all days?!? How bad is it??” The worried look on your face hurt me. I expected that you wouldn’t care about Akaashi as much as you used to because you had someone else in your life.

But why does it seem like nothing has actually changed?

“Because he got it from you.” I spilled it out in one breath. “You see, Akaashi thought that it was impossible for him to confess to you because well, you’re a well-known public figure now. If you were to date a guy, what more some normal guy like him- he was afraid of the backlash you might have gotten from the people.” I didn’t want to look at the pain in Bokuto’s eyes, because if I do then I might admit defeat in my fight for Akaashi’s love. “I’m sure Akaashi never told you that he used to have Hanahaki, right?”

“So you’re telling me that I was the reason Akaashi had been in constant pain all this time?” Bokuto only looked at his lunch, I assume that the news had ruined his appetite. It’s not fair, Bokuto wasn’t there when Akaashi first suffered from coughing out lilies, he wasn’t there when the first tiny dim stars fell from his eyes. Why does he make it look like he had suffered even more than the ones who had to witness it all? 

“Your words, not mine. But, that’s very spot on. I’m sorry.” My tone had turned slightly venomous at the end of my sentence. I was pissed off. If we weren’t in public, I might have slapped him instead as a compensation for all the pain he had put Akaashi in. 

“But, why now?” Bokuto’s voice had gotten softer, shaking a little if one had listened to it carefully. “Is something going to happen to Akaashi soon?” I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. He had no right to ask that. Hell, if this wasn’t Akaashi’s request, I wouldn’t do this in the first place. It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. 

It’s like fate is trying to bring these two together, and I’m just a side character that’s needed to push them through. It’s not fair. 

“We have a feeling that tonight, Akaashi might be gone. That’s why I’m telling you this all today, it was a request from him. So that you can say goodbye to him, properly.” Konoha gave him a piece of paper, his handwriting scribbled on it. “You might want to go there around midnight. Go, Bo. Before it’s too late.” Using your old nickname felt like I was pouring poison into my tongue. I might as well do that because I could no longer keep up with the nice-guy facade.

It took me a while, but I realized that throughout this journey, the one who had been hurting the most wasn’t Akaashi.

It was me. 

I knew where you were going that night, so I followed behind. I know the cave that you wanted to hide in since I was the one who showed it to you. There was a secret entrance from the back, someone like Bokuto would have a low chance of discovering it, so I used that entrance instead to sneak in. It felt like I was violating your final wish, but I tried to tell myself that in a way or another, this was also for the sake of science. The wicked side of my mind snickered eerily, reminding me that I didn’t want to take Akaashi as a test subject initially. 

Well, ideologies change. So begone with it. 

You waited at the center of the cave, the periwinkle stars giving the walls of the cave a beautiful glow to it. You looked majestic as usual, even if you were on the verge between life and death. I wish I could say how breath-taking you look at the moment, but I long realized that my role in this tragedy is as the supporting character of two lovers. If this story was centered around you, I might not appear at this very moment at all. 

Bokuto came a few minutes after, screaming your name once he had seen you in your current state. I hid behind the walls, occasionally looking out as I tried to capture the conversation that was going on between the two of you. 

“Bokuto-san? Is that really you? What are you doing here?” 

“I should have asked that question to you!! Why didn’t you say anything before, Akaashi? When did you learn to hide your secrets from me?? Akaashi, had you told me your feelings from the start, we wouldn’t be in this situation now.”

“Because that’s why.” Your voice had turned hoarse, even the act of speaking one short sentence seemed to consume much energy now. It was getting close. The stars won’t wait any longer now. “I didn’t want you to do it out of pity. I love you, Bokuto-san. I really do. I- I wanted what you and that guy have.”

“What are you talking about, Akaashi? I broke up with that guy. Well, actually we weren’t really dating by then. I mean, that was our first date and then we got caught and then things happened...” Another deadly cough interrupted the ramblings from Bokuto. I stole a look towards the both of you, regretting it very much as I could see how much love and affection Bokuto had in his eyes looking at you. “Besides, you were always the one I really, really love. From a long time ago,” Bokuto confessed. Akaashi was taken aback, crying even more as he let the last few batches of the stars out.

It was game over for me. I couldn’t stand between love this strong. Even after all the effort that I've poured trying to steal you away, I didn’t even stand _close_ to Bokuto. It’s not fair. This isn’t fair at all. 

“Do you really mean it, Bokuto-san?” 

“Of course I do!! I’ll show you!” Bokuto held one of the stars in his hand, looking at it for a few seconds before abruptly popping it into his mouth. “Oh my god, this doesn’t taste like that star-shaped cereal at all.”

As a pharmacist, I can deem that Bokuto is still the idiot he is back in high school. But then again, it did let the curiosity in me revive itself. Could it be that the cure for the disease…… could the cure actually be the tears itself? I waited for your reaction, you were dumbfounded by Bokuto’s actions- an expression that I haven’t seen in such a long time. My chest aches upon seeing the face, it gave me memories of how happy we used to be during our high school days. Back when the feelings that I had for you weren't as intense as this, and back when I realized that I could never steal you away from Bokuto no matter how hard I tried.

Why did I forget those emotions when I left Fukurodani? Did I have to remind myself in a harsher way?

I let the tears run down from my eyes, I wondered if there was a possibility of me getting the star tears disease now? The love of my life got confessed by the one he loved for years. All I got was the feeling of being backstabbed after spending a short period where it felt like we were the only two people in this world. But then again, maybe I won’t get the disease. My love for you won’t die. Sure, it hurts, but loving you made me feel like I could do anything- something I haven’t felt in years. 

I was deep in my thoughts when something happened. A bright light shone so brightly, my eyes hurt just by looking at it. But I forced myself to look through, wishing that I had kept my eyes closed instead. The sight of the two of you kissing was even more painful than some stupid bright lights. I expected that those were the lights that would take you away, as I waited to see the stars beginning to fade itself away, returning back to their home.

But it didn’t happen just as I thought it would. No stars danced away, no weird background noises. Nothing. The light died down, and my eyes were in disbelief as I saw you returned to the human you were. The healthy Akaashi who had just recovered from Hanahaki. 

No way. 

“Bokuto-san.” You called out towards him. “Y-You… You saved me. You rescued me. Thank you so much.” Bokuto pulled you towards him, tightening you in his embrace as he cried as loud as he could there, thanking the heavens for sparing you. It was impossible, you were beyond the point of saving. Did Bokuto really save you by eating one piece of the stars that you were producing? 

Was that the ultimate cure? Just like how Hanahaki can be cured anytime at all if your love was returned, was the star tears disease curable if the one you loved and yearned for ate the star tears? 

I left the cave, any second longer and I think I would have rather if you died instead of seeing the two of you being so happy. 

Life is not fair at all. 

\-------------------------------------------------------

_“Surprisingly, Patient A recovered from his illness. The only possible assumption that I have at the moment is that like Hanahaki if the person that the victim is yearning for returns their feelings, the disease would fade away. Although in this context, it means eating the stars.”_

_“Patient A has reported that he has not cried a single star tear ever since. Although his color blindness and memories seemed to stay as it is. But Patient A is now living happily ever after, that’s what is important.”_ Konoha had gripped the edge of his seat a bit too tightly at the thought that if he had managed to find the cure for Akaashi, they could have replaced the old memories he had with Bokuto. But it was too late. It was far too late for that. 

_“And with that, I end my report for my observation on Patient A. I hope those who would use my recording for future references would find this recording of great use as we continue our war to save humanity. Although I must advise this, if anyone had any inquiries regarding the events that happened behind this, I cannot disclose any of it as it would be a breach of company policy. Also, I’ll probably not remember any of it.”_ Konoha pressed the stop button for one last time as he edited the voice recording, going through it a few more times before saving it and sending it to his boss. 

He smiled once the email was sent. After weeks of delaying, it was done. And just in time, as the nurse knocked on his door, greeting him with a pair of sad eyes. “Konoha Akinori? You can enter the surgery room now.” He thanked her for notifying him as he prepared himself to leave his hospital room. Beside his laptop were a few blood-stained petals from a yellow rose, while a yellow rose was placed beside it. He looked at the flowers for one last time, wishing it goodbye before he threw all of it to the trash can. The nurse saw the flowers, asking him why he didn't opt to use the cure like most of society. 

“Because it’s time I wake up from this dream and return to reality.” He smiled bittersweetly at the flowers, the last living proof of the love that he had for Akaashi. The feelings would die just like the flowers inside his lung would be pulled away. It was a satisfying goodbye. Although Konoha had to laugh when he realized that the flowers he had coughed up were a flower that resembled jealousy. How ironic, his unrequited love is something made from jealousy. 

Oh well, all of this is just a dream anyway.

After all, in science- there is no need for emotions.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> yo i study about optics and light so this was a really fun thing to write haha
> 
> kudos, comments, screams, anger and questions are well-accepted. if you are afraid i dont reply fast enough- my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hatsukoidoa)  
> is always open for questions   
> thank you for reading!


End file.
